The Essence of a Soul Friend": Spiritual Depth

The final thread running through the Celtic missionaries' understanding of the "soul friend" is, broadly, spirituality. They understood that, however essential and fulfilling a deep human bond might be, it could not take the place of a friendship with God. Indeed, such relationships flowed directly from such a love-bond with God.

They saw God as the true friend, the pattern of all friendship, the centre of a wheel in which all human soul-friendships are vital spokes. One example illustrates this well.

When his mentor and bishop died, Finbar (also written Finbarr or Findbar) felt bereft, so he went to see his friend Eolang. Eolang had been praying and had received a word from God for Finbar. He knelt before him and said: "I offer you my church and my soul." Finbar wept and would have none of it, but Eolang persisted. "Let it be so, for this is the will of God. You are dear to Him and you are greater than I. Only grant me this, that we may live and die in the same place."

Here it is clear that the heavenly dimension enriched the human beyond what it could have achieved itself.

The Celtic anamcharas (soul friends) appreciated that solitude and companionship had to be kept in a creative balance. Both were essential for what they called "soul-making": the lifelong process of making peace with God, with oneself, with others, and with all of creation. Soul friends are committed to helping one another make this journey successfully.

The need for such committed love has perhaps never been greater than in the post-Christian West. May these examples stir hunger and faith for a new movement of faith and application in the areas of soul-friendship listed in these posts, for the good of all our souls!

The Essence of a "Soul Friend": Mutuality

Another key aspect of heart-friendship, as conceived by the early Celtic missionaries, was mutuality. This shows itself in two principal ways.

First, the sharing of common values. The Celtic fathers and mothers, even a century apart, had a common vision of reality. They also seem on occasions to have received common intuitions - especially when it came to sensing the potential of future leaders. When Ciaran went to the island of Aran to visit his friend Enda, they both saw the same spiritual vision of a fruitful tree growing by a stream in the centre of Ireland, protecting the whole land. They both interpreted it the same way, too: that Ciaran would become that great tree and should found his monastery in the very centre of Ireland.

What shines clearly from the written lives of the Celtic saints is the profound respect which they showed for each other's wisdom and guidance - despite age or gender differences. They genuinely saw each brother or sister as a potential source of many blessings from God. The biographies often convey this symbolically, through the gesture of giving gifts. Although they lived poor, special gifts conveyed profound respect and mutuality: a ring, a bell, a hand-made wooden box, or maybe a horse.

In our day, where western society carries almost toxic levels of suspicion where any heart-closeness is concerned - especially same-gender and cross-generational, these examples are a poignant reminder of what has gone missing. Who will be courageous and humble enough to pioneer such mutuality today?

The Essence of a "Soul Friend": Directness

Another key aspect of the Celtic Christian "anamchara" (soul-friend) relationship was directness: the honesty and trust which enabled the challenging of one another on occasions.

Edward Sellner records the example of the godly woman Canair, who at the end of her life determined to visit the saintly Senan at his monastery on Inis Cathaig (Scattery Island in Munster). Senan met her at the jetty and told her to go to her sister's home on another nearby island. "That is not why I came", said Canair. "I came to find hospitality here."

"But women are not allowed on this island," Senan replied, to which Canair retorted: "Christ suffered for the sake of women as much as for the sake of men. Women as well as men may enter the heavenly kingdom." "You are persistent!", commented Senan (and we will never know the expression on his face). "Well then," said she, "will I get what I asked for? Will you let me live and die on this island?" Convinced, Senan granted her request.

Another example concerns Brendan the Navigator (referred to in the last post), who on his travels came to the monastery of Emly in Munster, where the patriarch Ailbe had presided for many years. Brendan burned with questions, but Ailbe's was a silent order! The monastery schoolmaster (who ipso facto was allowed to speak) had to rebuke Brendan and his companions for chatter. But Brendan persisted and Ailbe, recognising in the young man all the qualities of a future leader, broke his own rule and spoke, teaching him many things.

Edward Sellner writes:

'Soul friend relationships are characterised by mutuality; a profound respect for each other's wisdom, despite any age or gender difference; and the awareness that the other person is a source of many blessings.'

It is this foundation of complete respect and affection which gives the platform for brotherly correction. As the Bible puts it: As iron sharpens iron, so a man sharpens a man. [Proverbs 27:17]

The Essence of a "Soul Friend": Affection

In his article, 'Early Celtic Soul Friendship', Edward Sellner demonstrates that in 6th century Ireland, all the movers and shakers of Celtic Christianity had their "soul friends" (in Gaelic: anamchara), and were in turn "soul friends" to others. The biographies of these saints 'reveal how common soul-friend relationships were between men and men, women and women, and women and men.'

Pride of place must go to Finnian (470-549), founder of the great monastery at Clonard in County Meath, where it is said that up to 3,000 pupils came to sit at his feet when he expounded the scriptures. If St Patrick had been the pioneer, Finnian was the father of the church in Ireland. 'It was he who tutored and acted as a spiritual guide to so many of the early founders of the other large monasteries, such as Columcille [Columba] of Iona and Ciaran of Clonmacnoise.'

Finnian genuinely loved his disciples. In his letters to Ciaran, he would call him 'dear one' and 'o little heart', always adding a personal blessing.

In some cases, these deep, mentoring relationships came about through a disciple choosing a master, but in the case of Kevin of Glendalough, he was entrusted as a child to the wise care of three monks who became as dear as fathers to him.

Kevin and Ciaran were true heart-friends. When Ciaran lay dying, he refused to let go on life until Kevin had come. When Kevin came, the two spent many hours in loving conversation, then shared Communion together. Ciaran blessed Kevin and gave him a little bell as a sign of their lasting unity. Then he died.

Women had these relationships, too, and not just among women. Ite (or Ita), abbess of Killeedy in County Limerick, was mentor to so many male leaders that she is known as "the Fostermother of the Saints". She was especially close to Brendan, sometimes called 'the Navigator' because of his voyages. Their biographers record how Brendan would smile warmly whenever he thought of Ita, many miles away; and how Ita would feel the slow drag of time whenever Brendan was away. And in the 8th century "Liber Angeli" we read: Between Patrick and Brigid, pillars of the Irish, there existed so great a friendship of charity that they were of one heart and one mind.

The "Soul Friends" of Celtic Christianity, Introduction

We've looked at what some of the big names in 4th century 'Eastern' Christianity had to say about Christian heart-friendship. Now we need to go West, and a couple of centuries later, and look at the equivalent in Celtic Christianity.

At which point I discover that someone has already done the work: Edward Sellner, Professor of Theology at St Catherine's University, Minnesota. In several articles and one book, he has waded through the biographies of the early Celtic missionary saints and extracted plenty of material on friendship. So in what follows, I am simply offering a résumé of some of his findings, while happily pointing the interested reader to Sellner's works.

Hagiography, the writing of the lives of saintly men and women in history, is not without its pitfalls. To what extent were some, less praiseworthy, deeds or traits edited out? Are quotations genuine and from written sources? Or did the aim of 'creating' a saint override all other considerations? The need for proven miracles (in order for the saint to be officially recognised as one) can lead to seemingly far-fetched stories. And finally, symbolism and symbolic acts play a large part, and we can never be sure whether our interpretation of that action was really what was in the saint's mind at the time.

All that said, there is plenty to be found that points to a developed and greatly valued concept of heart-friendship, which in Celtic tradition was called "soul friendship". Over the next few posts I would like to explore these examples further, to see how relevant the ancient wisdom is to today's dislocated and lonely world.